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NBA Star: 'There Are No Such Thing As Shark Attacks' News Service
August 1, 2007 17:11 EST

Gilbert Arenas has denied there are such things as "shark attacks" in his latest blog entry

MIAMI, Florida -- NBA star and blogging "superstar" Gilbert Arenas has come out against shark attacks. Actually, Arenas denies there are such things as "shark attacks" in his latest blog entry.

Here's Gilbert's latest missive:

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack. I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack. A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

You can find Gilbert Arenas's blog on the official site.